My wife drives me nuts.

[Firemedic2000]

Since I've retired and am pretty much home now 24/7 my wife drives me crazy. She's all the time gotta be doing something including messing with me. Asking me trick questions like how do you like my hair, do I look fat in this, do you still think I'm pretty. Yeah good luck with trying to trick me with those questions

She's also constantly creating this list that just keeps magically growing of things for me to do. Stupid stuff too. Not to mention things I refuse to do anymore. Not because I don't want to. But because I'm not capable of safely doing them anymore. But more like I'm tired of hurting my melf by pushing the limits of a now 61 year old body that the younger generations think is a burden on society and should be put down for not contributing to society by playing video games all day.

When I built this house which is a stilt house and roof is three stories up and a 6/12 pitch. I was 36 yrs old and I hired me a Mexican and went to work driving nails. Built this home myself in 3 1/2 months I was living in it. Busted my butt.

I'll be 61 this year and in my life time from my chosen occupations have had 6 back operations, two total knee replacements, two ruptured ear drums, right elbow and both hands operated on. Right ear darn near cut off but then got it reattached, three fingers almost completely severed but reattached, knocked unconscious twice from various situations. Fortunately when I hit the ground I landed on my head both times. Never had a broken bone though. I'm proud of that


I tell her hell no hire someone to do that stuff any more and throw away that Kama Sutra book I'm done with it. I'm tired of getting hurt this 61 year body just can't take it anymore she's a vampire. She even asks me if I want to lay down. I say why I'm not sleepy besides I'm watching the episodes of Ancient Aliens I missed today for some reason she gets mad at me

I need to sit her down and have a talk and see if she's upped my life insurance policies. but seriously I don't get it. She acts like I'm still in my thirties and can still safely do all those crazy things that got me into the shape I'm in now. Which don't get me wrong. I'm not dying or in 24/7 pain.....anymore. but I can feel my limits now and know when I shouldn't be doing something. It's more to do with not hurting my back again.

Why do wives do these things to their husband's. I mean if I want to binge watch Ancient Aliens all day so what. I keep telling her that The truth is out there

But seriously these so called honey do lists have got to stop. Stuff like fix the little pump strayer that has pesticide in it. Hell no go buy a new one I'm not mess with a container full of poisons I gotta see my life insurance policies for real No I'm not painting the facia boards on eave 3 stories up on a ladder. No I'm not going into the water with alligators or with anything else that can eat me to trim mangroves. hire someone

Man I need to marry a younger woman that can do house maintenance and is more flexible think I said that out loud once. 15 minutes later she was loading up to go to the gun range to practice her shooting. She asked me if I wanted to go and hold her target. I told her no thanks for asking but Ancient Aliens was on to day

[N4KVE]

I guess I’m lucky. My wife likes wearing tight tops, & from time to time she’ll ask me “do my boobs look too big in this top”? I always tell her “no sweety, you [they] look fine. But occasionally she asks stupid chick questions, and I let them go over my head. She’s a great cook, & I’m lucky to have her in my life. GARY

[tector]

[jimmac]

Well, some guys have all the luck.
I have outlived 2 wives and one 5 year live in girlfriend.
NO, I did not shoot them, they died on their own.
Now I'm 83, living alone, and bored, wish I had someone that thought I was able
to do a few things. I'm looking, but no luck, so you young guys that think you are
old and wore out, relax, one day you will be like me, and wonder where your life went.
You will have to learn to cook, clean, and talk to your self, you can even answer your self.
BUT when you talk to your self, answer your self, and say "HUH, then you will know you only have
a few dozen years left, try to enjoy.

[REDinFL]

My wife drove me to drink; for that I am eternally grateful.

Oh, and jimmac, it's when you argue with yourself and lose the arguments that you know you're in countdown mode. (75 here)

[TonyR]

I'm 61 and in the countdown already according to jimmimac and red,LOL. But,I have a German Shepard who I talk\argue with also,hahaha. being single truly does suck.

[FfNJGTFO]

Since I've retired and am pretty much home now 24/7 my wife drives me crazy. She's all the time gotta be doing something including messing with me. Asking me trick questions like how do you like my hair, do I look fat in this, do you still think I'm pretty. Yeah good luck with trying to trick me with those questions

She's also constantly creating this list that just keeps magically growing of things for me to do. Stupid stuff too. Not to mention things I refuse to do anymore. Not because I don't want to. But because I'm not capable of safely doing them anymore. But more like I'm tired of hurting my melf by pushing the limits of a now 61 year old body that the younger generations think is a burden on society and should be put down for not contributing to society by playing video games all day.

What? You never heard of the dreaded, "Honey-Do" list???

I recall a "Mad Magazine" strip. These are the ones that say things like "You know you're really crazy when...." and it goes through several animated scenarios to show you when you are crazy. I recall one that says, "You know you're really a parent/husband" and the answer was, "When you actually look forward to Monday Mornings."

[REDinFL]

Looking back, there was a lot of truth in "Mad" magazine. Some of the strips showing >>real<< married life were spot on.

[Wakko]

I found a unicorn: gorgeous, body of a 25 year old, libido of a 16 year old boy, loves to cook, has investments of her own, educated, loves my kid like it's her kid, and for some reason thinks I'm sexier than a man half my age. No, she's not perfect, but she is waaaaay out of my league. When my order of 8 CMP Garands showed up, she didn't bat an eye.

I constantly tell her how much I appreciate what she does, leave her notes, bring her flowers, thank her for doing the routine things, and pretend to want to do some of the things she wants to do. "What's that, honey? You want to drive down to the beach now that I just got home from a 14 hour day and go for a walk? That sounds great, it's EXACTLY what I want to do, too!"

Fucking worth it. All day.

[Firemedic2000]

Well, some guys have all the luck.
I have outlived 2 wives and one 5 year live in girlfriend.
NO, I did not shoot them, they died on their own.
Now I'm 83, living alone, and bored, wish I had someone that thought I was able
to do a few things. I'm looking, but no luck, so you young guys that think you are
old and wore out, relax, one day you will be like me, and wonder where your life went.
You will have to learn to cook, clean, and talk to your self, you can even answer your self.
BUT when you talk to your self, answer your self, and say "HUH, then you will know you only have
a few dozen years left, try to enjoy.

I hope I live to be eighty. My post was done mostly in jest. I was trying to get my mind off all of this garbage going on. But yeah I love my wife and don't really mind doing whatever she asks. Except seriously that Kama Sutra I really can't do that. I failed yoga

Your right being alone can be rough and even depressing if your use to being around someone. I've been married 3 times, no kids though. Number 2 passed away. I was still friend with both my ex-wives. My wife now that I've been with for 35 years. Let's put it this way. I'd rather go before her because she is my life.

But man 3, if I were a woman and knew that. I'd be leary of you to

My wife's brother said to me once. Man Mr M I'm worried about my sister. I asked why of coarse and he said he was coming over to my house and Mrs M was down stairs talking to herself. I laughed and asked what she was doing. Her brother said watering the plants in the yard. I said dude she was talking to her plants not herself. Now he did talk to himself and your correct. He was not right in his head. He died of brain cancer.